Great Idea No. 1

If I had a chicken, I would name it Sctoo and it would sit at the table and drink tea from a little vase that was excavated from some ruins in Egypt. I would take Sctoo to the spa so that it could get a massage and an exfoliation.

Today

A lot of stuff happens today:

1) My first grad school application is due
2) I have to go on a long run, starting at 8 am. It is 13 degrees, but feels like 0 with the wind chill.
3) My brother's birthday is tomorrow.
4) This is the last Saturday of the fall semester.
5) There is snow on the ground. How romantic.

Random List 1

I don't think anyone is reading this blog anymore, so maybe I will write more exciting things. Random lists are exciting:

salamander
glass ware
sweat shirt
miniature golf
Valentino's
filing cabinet

Psychology Day 10: Hope, Optimism, and Future-Mindedness

Yeah...the last post.

So, we got hope, optimism, and future-mindedness for today...

Evidently this wasn't one of my strengths...but maybe because the word "hope" sort of implies that things suck for you and you want them to get better...well, for me, everyday is pretty good...I enjoy every moment that I am awake (and asleep)...so I guess I really am not hoping for anything right now. Things are good...and I know that they will continue to be...

Optimism...I am pretty optimistic...nothing really phases me too much...I don't really worry about a lot of things.

Future-mindedness...hmm...I would rather be concerned with the state of present affairs than worry about what I am going to do next week, next month, next year...take one day at a time...that's what my parents always used to say. And it works. I am never stressed out and just sort of get things done as they need to get done.

Psychology Day 9: Citizenship, teamwork, loyalty

As stated before, I really don't work in a team setting a lot of the time. Therefore it is no surprise that teamwork is not a strength of mine.

Loyalty, however...I'm all about loyalty...and I would say that loyalty is one of my greatest strengths. If ever my family or one of my friends is in need of something, I will help them out right away...even if it means missing class or missing work or an appointment. Family first, friends second...that's all that matters.

Psychology Day 8: Leadership

So, I sort of forgot to write some stuff yesterday, so here it is...

The strength of the day is leadership. This was not one of my top five strengths, but I am not too worried about it. I don't have to lead any groups, now do I? I don't have to rally people together, right?

I have more of a lone-wolf perspective...be self-sufficient, and you can control the outcome. Things will go your way...you don't have to worry about getting everyone to do the same thing...and some people in the group may not want to follow your lead, and therefore bring the group down...

I think we all should be more self-sustaining and individualistic. We should depend on ourselves.

Psychology Day 7: Bravery and Valor

Bravery and Valor were not my strengths.

I am not especially sad about it. Oh well. I guess in my life I have not had moments where I had to be brave. It's not like I am some special ops dude. It's not like I am exploring crevices. It's not like I am an Indian.

Psychology Day 6: Industry, diligence, and perseverance

I wonder if any of these three were in my top 10 strengths...but I am not sure how the people who made the test would correctly assess these.

In school, I would say that I am not as strong as I should be with these three...often I just sort of laze around and eat chips or do nothing.

But, when I am doing something that I thoroughly enjoy, I am a master of the three traits here. I am a master. No tornado can hold me back.

Psychology Day 5: Creativity, ingenuity, and originality

Creativity, ingenuity, and originality are supposed to be my number one strength.

I guess you could call me all of these. I like to create. I like to be ingenious. I like originality.

When I cook, I like to try out new things. It is a very fun time. The pastas I make are incredibly original and exceptionally delicious.

blah blah blah

I need to actually start saying stuff in my next few posts...

Psychology Day 4: Humor and Playfullness

Humor and playfullness is my fourth greatest strength, so the test said.

First, let me say that I have to do two responses today because yesterday I did not have a chance. Instead of doing homework, I decided to do nothing but go eat out, twice, and then watch three and a half movies. Stull and I watched Rescue Dawn, Transformers, Vanishing Point, and part of Two Guns. Don't watch Two Guns...it is a worthless movie.

So, back to humor and playfullness...everyone should fill their day with humor or playfullness. They should find things to laugh at, or crack all kinds of jokes, or do other stuff like that.

Playfullness is good...it keeps you young. It is good to be playful, just like a kitten.

(yes, this was a rather pathetic post...I apologize!)

Psychology Day 3: Curiousity of the world

I am a curious being, just like a cat. I see things that are very interesting, like a wild vine growing on the side of the building, or something that is crawling up the wall of the classroom. I am curious to try new things, like a glass of raw egg or habanero pepper. That stuff will sting the tongue. If it gets in your eye, you will experience much agony. I did not get the habanero in my eye. I made an effort not to.

I saw some clothes draped on the couch. It was a dress shirt. There was a name tag and a tie on the floor, and one of those waiter apron things. The person who the items belonged to was teaching some other people how to salsa dance. I was curious, so I put on the shirt. And the tie. And the name tag and the apron thing. I put on some aviator sunglasses and then tried out some of my own dance moves. It was a very curious thing to behold, I would say.

Curiousity is good. A cat is good. A cat is good to have on a cold night. A cat is a good thing to feel with your hands. When I get a house, I am going to get a cat.

Psychology Day 2: Modesty and Humility

So, the test thing back when said that my second strength was Modesty and Humility. I don't think that this should be considered a strength...rather, it should just be a characteristic that everyone wants to develop.

I guess I am modest. Or maybe I just don't talk about myself a lot. I really don't see a need to talk about stuff I have done. What does it matter, anyway? I am secure and happy with myself...whenever I hear someone bragging about themselves, I wonder if they need to brag because they pretty much suck at everything else. Poor little lost souls!

I like the band Modest Mouse. They are pretty good. I like to listen to them. Often I can fall asleep listening to them. I just put some on, actually. I like to speak and write short sentences. I don't like things like the candidate debates, because they all try to speak forever and ever when they could just say "yes" or "no" or give a four word response. It is out of control.

Back the issue of modesty and humility...maybe I just don't like to talk about myself because most of the stuff that I like and excel in are things that nobody else would find interesting. So I talk about things that will be interesting to them.

I am going to be honest...I don't really think I am saying anything here, so I am just going to quit and hope that everyone will just become modest and humble overnight, and when I wake up tomorrow the world will be a happier place.

Psychology Day 1: Honesty, Authenticity, Genuinenes

So, I guess I am supposed to start writing in my blog about something that has to do with strengths. The second week of school, we took some kind of test that told us what our strengths were. My top five are as follows: 1)Creativity, ingenuity, and originality; 2)Modesty and humility; 3)Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness, 4)Humor and playfulness; 5)Curiosity and interest in the world

Today I guess I will talk about Honesty, Authenticity, and Genuineness. First of all, I don't think "genuineness" is even a word. I have to be honest. It sounds like something a cartoon character would make it. It sounds make-believe.

It is good to be honest, I think. I don't see why you wouldn't want to be honest. People who are not honest can go f*** themselves.

I love it when someone is disappointed and says "you know, I'm gonna be honest with you..." That's the best way to begin telling someone when you are disappointed in them. It lessens the shock. It prepares the person who disappoints you for the things you are going to say to them.

I'm going to be honest about how I felt in class today. I was tired, and did not feel like going. I actually considered staying home. If I stayed home, I wouldn't be lazy. I would get a lot of stuff done and maybe play guitar. Maybe I would sleep a bit. I think I am getting sick, so getting some extra sleep would not be a bad idea.

In Rhetoric class, I was hoping that Dr. Cypert was going to call on me to discuss the reading. I would have been honest and said: "Dr. Cypert, let me be honest with you...I didn't read. I sort of neglected it."

It's not that I am lazy...it's just that I didn't feel like reading that 30 page packet that discussed Japanese rhetoric. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I just didn't feel up to it. I'm going to be honest: there are a lot of things that I probably should do that I don't. For instance, I think my fish bowl needs to be changed. It is not really disgusting yet, but poor Sanders is swimming around in his own feces. That is sort of disgusting. It is very disgusting. Sickening, even. I am going to go vomit right now just because I am thinking about it.

Authenticity. This is a fun one. I hate people who are not authentic. Every day I see all types of folk who think they are allstars, who prance around with these silly grins and say "I'm an allstar!" I hate that. I have considered throwing branches at them. I could hide behind a tree and ambush them. I would hit them in the gut, hoping to knock some sense into them.

I guess I am authentic. I don't know what else I could be. I'm not trying to be someone I am not...I just sort of go with the flow and let whatever happens happen. It is good clean fun.

I am going to be honest...I am getting tired of writing, so I am going to wrap it up real quick...but first I have to discuss genuineness.

Genuineness...it is a made up word...I don't really know what it means. I suppose I could look it up one the one site where I took the strength tests, but I really don't feel like it right now. Besides, I have written like ten pages of this kind of stuff. I probably have been writing for seven hours. I don't even know where the time has gone. It has passed quickly.

Okay. I am done now. Do you wish to comment?

Friday

It was Kensy's birthday, so I took her and Molly and Heather to eat out at the Blue Orchid. We all got different dishes, so then we could sample a variety of Thai food...it was delicioso!

Then we went to Coldstone, but I didn't eat any ice cream because I am trying to cut back on the sugar.

On the way back to the car, we saw this guy throw up on the sidewalk. It was crazy. Then he kept walking like nothing had happened, lighting up a cigarette.

There was a guy in a blue shirt who was sort of freaky, and stared at us.

Then we saw Dr. Cypert walking around with two people, probably his wife and this other guy that works at Wesleyan. I didn't see them until we were right along side them, and when I looked back, it was too late to exchange pleasantries.

Now I am sitting here.

Now I am going to do something.

Wow! More Events!

After swimming, D'Leons seemed like the right thing to do, so Lisa, Tim, and I went there. I was feeling pretty generous, as I have been for the past two weeks, so I bought them food. It was a good time.

Then, to the grocery store. Marcus was working there. I took forever going through the store and spent forty bucks. That is more than I wanted to pay, but I got some good stuff.

Then, driving around town. Lisa and I drove up there and then left, and then stopped so I could get the nuts and candy from trunk, and Lisa her cds, and then we followed a car for a while but we lost them.

Then we were on the UNL campus and I engraved a picture of a dude running on the stone bench. it was an ancient tree that obstructed your view from the bench. There were nasty piles of goo on the bench.

There was a strange net sculpture, but the ladder was locked up in there so we couldn't climb up.

Then some more driving.

At Touzalin Avenue and Benton Street, there were about fourteen cop cars and a white van. "The SWAT Team!" Lisa exclaimed. I wanted to investigate, but she was driving. We didn't get up close.

But then I was thirsty. "I am thirsty," is what I said. So we tried to go to Casey's, but it was closed, as was the Kabrelo's. So, we went back close to where the SWAT team was and bought some drinks at the gas station.

I told Lisa that it would suck to die, but I could deal with it.

She said I should avoid an occupation where death could get me.

Then back at my apartment I put away the groceries. The yogurt and vegetables were warm. They are not supposed to be. The cookies were sort of gross, as was the chocolate. I see why they only cost a dollar.

Then a few games of speed. It was out of control. It was a frenzy. Then it was 2 o'clock already, so Lisa left. She has class at nine.

I work at ten, so I figured I still had an hour left to do something. I played guitar. Last Thursday I purchased a new guitar, an Epiphone Dot, which is a hollow-body electric that looks sort of like BB King's guitar. I am a jazz and blues man. I plan to take lessons.

Then I wrote this entry. I thought you would care to know how my life is going.

My life is going fine. I am enjoying myself. I don't do homework often, but everything else is falling into place.

Depressing Events at The Fish Store

I went to The Fish Store today to buy a nice fish or two. I always wanted to have a bunch of those guys swimming around in a tank.

The first fish I looked at was a sort of eel-like creature. It had dots on it. I think it was called "Peacock Eel." It was an amazing fish.

Then I noticed that its lack of movement was not from being in a state of rest, but because it was dying. It was floating around in the corner of the aquarium, his little gills beating furiously. The poor thing was hyperventilating.

Out of nowhere, these little black and orange shark things come and start to bite at the Peacock Eel. The eel writhed around, trying to whip its body away from the horrible shark things. More and more little black and orange shark things gathered around the magnificent Peacock Eel. They forced it to the bottom of the aquarium and bit at the poor little eel.

The Peacock Eel died. I saw it twitch for the last time.

It was a depressing event.

Jibberish

What the hell does "Oo-de-lally" even mean? What kind of sick joke is this?

Sleep Deprived

I am not getting enough sleep; that much is true. It is 4:14 and I am still up for no reason. I could have gone to bed six hours ago, but I didn't. I'll probably get up at 8, and then be tired for the rest of the day.

The Giver

I read The Giver today, which used to be my favorite book back in the day...I first read it in the fifth grade, when my teacher was Mrs. Wilson, who is the cousin or niece of Dr. Wehrbein, who teaches in the physics department. Anyway, The Giver is a pretty good book, and I recommend that you read it if you haven't. The New York Times called it "a powerful and provocative novel," thus proving (possibly) that it is a good book to read.

I have, however, been finding places in books that make me think "what the hell?" and stuff like that. For instance, they don't talk about cars or other vehicles at all...then The Giver brings it up like it is normal. Everyone riding around on bikes, and The Giver gets a car all of a sudden? Does that even make sense?

The author, Lois Lowry, seems to not use language as effectively as she should. When Jonas is thinking of the rules he has broken, right after crossing the bridge separating his community from others, Lowry builds up the "suspense" and "mood" or whatever...she says that Jonas doesn't take his bike, but his fathers bike. Why?

"It was necessary because it had the child seat attached to the back."

Anyone, even a fifth grader, can see that Jonas is going to take a child with him...and the only child is Gabriel...so you know that he has decided to take Gabriel.

Then Lowry has to ruin it all by saying: "And he had taken Gabriel, too."

We know, Lois, we know. Why did you have to spoil this glorious moment?

And then, when it is snowing and Jonas is ascending the hill with Gabriel, Jonas continues to ride the bike. It wouldn't have been so bad, but we know that the snow is at least four inches deep (Lowry describes how the snow covers Jonas's feet)...so why is he still trying to ride the bike?

And then, in about a minute and a half, Jonas is at the top of the hill, where he finds the sled. And the snow up there is probably pretty deep too, thus making it seem like there is a pretty big difference in snow fall in just a couple hundred meters...it just doesn't make sense.

Blah blah blah

Anyway, there's all kinds of things that I am starting to question. I guess it is good, though, because it shows that I am looking at the writing, not just the story.

Okay. That is all for now. I've read four books since Sunday, and am tentatively planning to start reading Prey by Michael Crichton tomorrow and finish it on Sunday.

Five books in one week is pretty good, I think.

Very refreshing.

And motivating.

Fahrenheit 451

Just got done reading Fahrenheit 451 for the first time...sat down and read it front to back, taking two breaks...one to eat a bowl of Golden Puffs, and one to go take a piss.

The book was pretty good, I guess. Very poetic language, you could say. There were some times, though, where there was too much description and explanation of things that I couldn't focus on...I don't really remember what they were, but there were some long passages in there that were pretty hard to get through.

However, there were an even greater number of examples that deserved to be praised, such as:

"Montag lay watching the dead-alive thing fiddle the air and die."

There were others, too, but I don't remember where they were.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

I just finished reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. That means in the past thirteen hours I have read two entire books. It feels good to know that I have been productive.

I am not really feeling tired at all. I've been awake since 8:00 on Sunday, and will stay awake until probably 12 am Tuesday. It is good for the body, I bet, to stay up for long periods of time. It makes a person stronger, I am sure.

I have been listening to Faure's and Durufle's Requiems for the past five or so hours. They are beautiful, and make me want to compose a requiem of my own...but to whom shall I dedicate it? I hope to no one. My requiem will simply exist.

Flowers for Algernon

I read Flowers for Algernon today...the whole thing! It was the best book I have read in a long time (well, I haven't read a book for a long time either.) Anyway, I think novels appeal to me more than short stories...maybe. I am not sure. But maybe sometime, it would be good to at least attempt to write a novel...maybe. I am not sure.

So, Flowers for Algernon was put on some kind of "Most Challenged Books of 1990-2000," meaning that some people thought that this book was unfit for students or libraries or something, so they tried to ban it. I don't know why anyone wants to ban anything...I think the more ideas you have running around in your head, like bees in a hive, the better. Fuck censorship. Fuck it in the ass. Censorship only perks the interests of the people. I hope that someday, someone tries to censor me, because then there will be a big rally and then the police would come and there would be tear gas and riots, and afterwards I will win! I will beat censorship, and then support a world-wide movement that encourages the widespread distribution and creation of explicit material.

More:

Here is some more stuff:

1) Wesleyan sucks because they close down the pool at random times for no reason at all. I might get a membership at the YMCA just so that I can go at regular times.

2) I fought some kind of depression last week, which sucked, which came out of nowhere and stabbed me in the gut.

3) "I was the only one in the room with a bullet in their gut." Remember that line? Do you? Do you? Isn't that the one?

4) Dom brought some stuff to work today and we made Vietnamese food...spring rolls, they were, and we stuffed them with shrimp, beef, lettuce, cucumber, chives, and soy bean sauce.

5) In the afternoon I went to two stores around 25th and O, and Indian one and a Thai one, and bought good stuff so that I can make some good meals. Yum.

6) I got the bass here in my room, sitting next to the guitar. The band is going to happen, I just know it. Get ready.

7) I can't think of anything else to say, except that I went to bed at nine o'clock last night, like an old man. It felt good. Oh yeah, and I have been sleeping on the floor for the past three weeks. I started off in the first week of July, but only lasted like two nights, but now I have been doing it for a long, long time.

8) That is all for now. G'day mate.

Trying

I have been trying to write more...well, it's not like I never do, it's just that I try to hard when I sit down and write that I get frustrated and it seems that I don't get anything done really. So now, I have spent a lot of the day trying to get in some kind of writing mood so that I can concentrate and write some good stuff.

My problem is, I think I have found out, is that I am seeing that stories are much more complex than I ever imagined, and that to write a good story is to expend a fantastic amount of effort which produces something entirely amazing.

No, I have not done so yet. Never have I felt really satisfied with a story. Sure, I can tell a story, no problem, I could tell forty seven of them right now. I just have to start writing something, anything. I could write "the cat was born with no left paw" and then write a story about it. I would write how I usually do, and make it enjoyable to read, quite possibly, but what I realize now is that there is much more to a story than I ever thought. To transform yourself from a "storyteller" to a "writer" you have to do so much more, you have to have a moment when everything...when everything is written in such a way that it brings tears to your eyes. Even stuff that is not sad will affect the reader, just because of the stuff that is in the story.

No, I do not explain myself well, but I never do. Basically, I am trying my hardest to not simply tell a story, but take it a step farther and really WRITE. That is my goal for the next week...I hope I can come up with something.

Update

My life has been pretty "blah" for a while. I need something to spice it up, perhaps some hot sauce or some Thai food.

I am going home tomorrow with my bro and my mom and dad are going to grill some chicken and fish and burgers and potatoes and vegetables.

I get to see my cat Nacho. She will be 14 in 20 days! Oh my! Where have the years gone! I was a second grader or something like that when she was born. What a wise soul she must be!

I have not been turning on the air conditioner because I am trying to save money. It is not too bad, actually. I have acclimated well. Plus, the hot weather makes you stronger. Plus, it is good to sweat; it cleanses the body.

I am trying to cut out the refined sugars because they cause crazy spikes in blood glucose level. I am trying to eat low GI carbs, like the oatmeal I eat for breakfast.

I like dim rooms. Like my room right now; the only light is from a lava lamp that has not yet warmed up so right now there are chunks of that plastic they use in there floating around. It looks like a cave, sort of.

School starts soon. I am not buying any books, except for my poetry class. That is the only one I actually want to go to. All the others will not be fun. I will probably just sit there and draw pictures of little sea urchins and aliens and flowers and bags of licorice.

Some hot girls moved in next door to me. Maybe I should bake some cookies and take them some. What do you think?

Camping.

I need to get motivated to do something. I need to go camping.

Comments on the English Language

Okay, okay, what's with the word INVALUABLE? People say it means priceless, but I fail to see how that can be.

Consider the word EXPENSIVE, as in "that jacket is EXPENSIVE, but maybe if I buy it for my wife she will not cheat on me (that damn bitch)."

Consider the word INEXPENSIVE, as in "when I bought my wife the INEXPENSIVE bracelet for Christmas, she threw up her hands and said 'our neighbor, who has been fucking me like a whore for the past five years, gave me an EXPENSIVE bracelet...why can't you do better!"

So there you have it. INVALUABLE actually means NOT VALUABLE.

Will someone defend the accepted definition of INVALUABLE? What does it even mean?

Becoming a Mountain Man: Stage 1

I have decided to start sleeping on the floor. By doing so, I will become tough, much like a mountain man. This is in preparation for when I move to the mountains with only a knife and a piece of flint.

Yo people it's C Dizzle you know me dog so today I write this blog after a lot of happenings in the day I woke up at 6 so that I could go on a long run at 7 it was a good time today my neighbor came over and brought me some books that she got somewhere I gave her some to read Jesus' Son and Civil War Land in Bad Decline maybe she will like them she graduates from Hamilton College in about a month I ate a lot of black licorice I like the black stuff it was a good day I watched some movies and played xBox and then ate some food made French toast to be exact I love that stuff do you I hope you do there were a bunch of old cars driving around down town so I hit that up and sat out on the street and watched and listened to the rumbling and inhaled exhaust which perhaps is contributing to this sporadic sentence that has no punctuation or whatever you call commas and periods then we went to a coffee shop and I got a double espresso thing called the Voltaire I think it was but it was grandiose and I was in a hyper mood and the coffee only made it worse we were in the back corner so maybe you heard us laughing it was a ball on the way back we put this big stuffed animal rabbit up to the window and waved at people they laughed and made fun of us and we hung our heads in shame back at my friend's house they fed the rabbit that the dog brought to them it is only about three inches long and opened its eyes only about two days ago what a darling it truly is so cute indeed I layed on the bed which was actually just the pull out couch and layed there for probably about fifteen minutes then my friend gave my brother a bike and we walked home and how I am typing stuff on the internet like I should be doing more often you guys have a great night and remember to make French toast and savor the marzipan

The White Stripes

1) The White Stripes. Yes. That is all you need to know.

2) I am getting calluses on the fingers of my left hand from playing guitar.

3) I am buying a drumset in October, one that is good. Maybe find a $1200 set on sale for around $800.

4) Jack is an allstar.

5) Meg is so very cute.

Montana!

Montana!

Nineteen.

I remember when I was nineteen. It was fun.

My Hero.

Check this out. I got to pose with the man.

School is out

School is out for the summer. I feel somewhat like a beached whale on the fifth floor of Embassy Suites.

how does a fan oscillate what an amazing feature

?

Quick question:

Does this picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger from Commando motivate you to do something amazing?

Kotzwinkle

I began reading "The Bear Went Over the Mountain" by William Kotzwinkle. I like it a lot so far. I have read "Dr. Rat" also, a couple years ago.

This summer, I am going to try to read 500 pages a week...that means I will read 6000 pages during the 12 week summer. That is 20-30 books. I am looking forward to it.

Other summer plans: work only 20 hours a week, run, bike, swim, workout, eat, sleep, sit on the porch, cookout, movies, licorice, icy pops, Colorado.

So, my thesis is complete. I did a couple drafts of it, but when I was reading it today, I found errors.

I watched "Garage Days" yesterday. Have you seen it?

Productivity, Part 2

In the past 29 hours, I have been PRODUCTIVO! I have accomplished more that I had thought I would be able to...I am a full day ahead.

When I wake up tomorrow at 7:30, I will have racked up a scanty 13.5 hours of sleep in three nights. That is an average of 4.5 hours of sleep a night.

Giraffes only need 20 minutes to 2 hours of sleep each day. They have the least sleep requirement of any mammal. They also have a 22 inch long tongue and no vocal chords.

I drank coffee! THE JUICE OF LIFE!

Okay, my body is falling asleep on me...time to go. I will post an update tomorrow, for sure.

Late Nights.

I like the late nights, when it gets really quiet outside. This is what I live for.

I am working on my portfolio. It is late.

I got scared a couple minutes ago, but I am fine now. Thanks for showing your concern.

The mind is an interesting thing. Interesting how it works.

Rage (Road/House)

I have road rage. All those saps go like 33 on 48th Street and Vine Street...I NEED to drive faster...usually at least 45, maybe 50...I get angry and use a lot of profanity...I throw my hands in the air in disgust and frustration with the other drivers' incompetance. I weave like a snake around slow moving vehicles. I drive like I am playing Gran Turismo.

I have house rage. My roommate NEEDS to start washing his dirty dishes. They have been sitting there on the counter for three days, diminishing the otherwise aesthetic appeal of the kitchen. He needs to wash his dishes.

I ate a hot dog and bun, two bowls of pasta w/ pepperjack cheese, ground black pepper, and habanero sauce. I NEED spice!

I am drinking a tequila sunrise. It is quite refreshing.

I started a book today. It is William Kotzwinkle's "A Bear Went Over the Mountain." I have only read the first chapter, but I like it a lot so far. I like it a lot.

My friend is staying at my apartment tonight because he is running the marathon tomorrow. I have to go on a long run tomorrow. I am now training for another ultra in either August or October.

I need to get a lot of stuff done on my thesis. I need to revise revise revise. I need sources. I need to step it up a bit. It is due Thursday. I have plenty of time.

My cactus is drying up, I think. I poured some water on it.

Productivity

In the past 27 and 1/4 hours, I have written 28 pages of stuff. I wrote 18 pages of flash fiction and 10 pages of craft essay. I only got 4 hours and 17 minuts of sleep last night. My neck and shoulders and back hurt. I am tired. Now I have a jazz ensemble concert, then a cookout. Well, at least I won't have to stay up until 3:30 again!

Craft Essay

I began writing my craft essay about an hour and a half ago...but I think it is going well. I have like 1,100 words (roughly 4 or 5 pages)...so I guess I am almost half way there...

I have been trying to figure out why I wait until the last minute to do things...I know it isn't because I am lazy, because I don't really ever waste time...I am always doing something...perhaps it has something to do with motivation...maybe I need to go listen to a motivational speaker...or maybe stress is a motivator. Yes, I think it is.

But I really don't get too stressed about school...all day I have been thinking about all these bills I have to pay. I hate paying bills...maybe I should just not pay them.

Well, my craft essay is going well...and I have a plan...I plan to work on it for another hour and a half...then work on some stuff for my portfolio for another three hours tonight (6 hours total today)...tomorrow, I will work another 6 hours...then Thursday morning another 3...that's 15 hours of work...I can do it, too...I know I can...if I really want to be productive, I can.

Yep, that's all for now.

Peace.

What I Want to Do

I want to save the bald eagle.

Putting Groceries Away

Watch how I do, y'all...watch how I do:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zU3hZN4jE-A


Also, here is another video some of my friends made last week:

http://my.break.com/media/view.aspx?ContentID=277319

Afrikaans

So, I'm going to stop playing around and learn Afrikaans...

My dad is fluent, so I might have him help me out a bit...also, I looked at some software on the interent...learning Afrikaans will better prepare me for if I study in South Africa next spring...who knows, maybe I will like it there and just stay (my dad has dual citizenship, and for some reason I can become a citizen sort of easily...)

I searched on facebook for people who shared my surname and found like 150 people...I added a bunch as my friends and sent them messages...no close relatives, but a lot of us share an ancestor by the name of Hercules...from 1687...

How does this apply to fiction writing? Well, in that class, I learned that you can marry like your fifth cousin or something...yeah, I'm not going to lie, some of the du Preezs out there are pretty hot.

Anyway, this one guy from South Africa wants to have some kind of reunion...he is 22 and is training to be a helicopter pilot...and wants it to be huge! crazy! and one week long! I'm down. I just need to scrap some money together...

My "cousins" have cool names, like Ankia, Elmari, Riekert, Zita, Karlien, Genevieve, Cheneen, Liska, Cairalee, Eldred, Dirk, Gerhardus, Etienne, Bardett, Innelize...

And what names are there around here? John, Joe, Sam, Sarah, Lauren, Chris, Alex. Are these cool names? I think not...

Plural

Everyone knows that the plural of the fluffy thing you see sitting there on the mat is:

cats

So, then, what is the plural of du Preez? Is it

du Preezes

or

du Preezs

Help me! I do not even know!

Violence

My neighbor, who is a single mom with two kids, who is taking classes at Hamilton College, who will graduate in July, whose telephone is getting cut off tomorrow because she cannot afford to pay right now...well, there was this creepy guy who kept on driving in front of our apartment and in the alley, especially when her kids were outside playing. She was frightened, scared that he would do something to her children...she was upset, she said "I don't want anything to happen to my children!" You could see the fear in her eyes. I've seen nothing of this sort before.

She called the police and reported him.

Two weeks later, a 12 and 13 year old were standing alone outside of Hy-Vee and were persuaded by the creepy guy to go back to his apartment, where he took nude photos of them and molested them.

The police visited my neighbor and asked them to identify the man...she correctly identified him and he was arrested.

Well now...I think of what I would have done if I had seen the man trying to do something to the children. And you want to know the truth? I would probably do something violent, maybe take a large rock and smash it against his head, maybe take a crowbar and bash him into the ground. When it comes to something like this, I would use violence. I would not hesitate to defend the children.

If I were put in prison, I would feel that I had done the right thing.

These kinds of things happen everyday. You must be ready to react.

So, you who are fucked up in the head, stay the fuck away!

Relay for Life

I went to this thing called Relay for Life, which is a fundraiser and awareness thing for cancer...yeah, I'm not going to lie...I basically went to hang out and to eat food...

But then I started to feel sort of bad...someone sang this song that was sort of depressing, then they started saying stuff like "If cancer has affected your grandpa, please get up and walk"...so there were all these people that got up and started walking, and it was then I realized that I was no different than Will Ferrel in "Wedding Crashers" when he is at the funeral. Oh yeah...and some girl gave me a hard time about me taking the food, saying something like "you are stealing from the cancer patients!"

But anyway, after that it was a pretty good time. Some of those bags they put up with candles lit on fire, and there were chalk pictures all over the ground.

I played trip war with some people. Did you ever play that in elementary school? If you didn't, you are surely missing out on something very important.

Oh yeah...maybe you have heard from previous posts that I am trying to reconcile some things between me and some other people whom I will not disclose. These reconcilations are going well. One is pretty good, and the other is good too. Two of them are good. It is good.

Well, I'm out. I have to work at history day tomorrow...I have to be in Smith Curtis at 7:30 am!

ps...this is relevant to fiction writing because I had all these experiences today that I can maybe write about. It is good to get the ideas flowing first, though, and in my case, I get them flowing on the blog.

Some Things That Made Me Laugh

So, class was good today. Not that many people showed up, but it was a grand time anyway.

I don't know why if this is even funny, but I read this note on facebook about someone who may or may not be my cousin named Jacky du Preez from King's London (some school in England)...she says

a momentous day:
i've finally made the momentous decision after a long internal struggle to announce to the
world that I Jacky Du Preez am a lesbian.

Is this funny? Why did I laugh when I read it? Also, why did I laugh when Jessica was telling us in class about her sophomore English teacher...she said:

Yeah, and then he died

or something to that effect. I felt incredibly terrible at first, but then when I looked at Chelsea I didn't feel as bad because she was laughing too. It is horrible. I am horrible.

Then Jacky leaves another note, saying:

Things I have learnt today

Never forget to log off a public internet terminal.

Well, that's that.

Another thing that was sort of funny:

I forgot to log off my facebook too, and then my brother was on it and messaged my ex girlfriend from high school, and said something about how she probably looked like an angel (at her performance...she is a vocal major or something)...

At first I was sort of perturbed, but then I became worried, and thought that maybe I HAD messaged her, and had been for the past years...without knowing of it, of course. Is it possible for me to do something and then not remember that I did it? What if this was the case? What if the things you don't want to do have already been done but you don't remember? Who is to say that this is not the case? Can we really even know? Is anything certain?

If nothing is certain, then should you worry? Should it really matter?

Then I laughed at it...it is not really funny, but she messaged me back and pretended that nothing had gone wrong...I'm not going to lie to you all...that relationship was messed up. Sure, it was good for the first 90%, but then it wasn't.

I have noticed that no one ever blogs anymore. Oh well...

Another thing: I am going to go to Relay for Life and get free food. I didn't pay, nor am I on a team, but I am going to walk around and get free food. If you are one of those people who run the thing and feel like preventing me from doing so, you better bring a club, because I am bringing my judo skills, BITCH!

Julie Orringer

I dnot konw how to splel toady but it really dosent mateter where you put the lettres as long as the fisrt and last letetrs are in the corrcet poistoins.

Basically, I don't know how to spell our friend Julie's last name.

She was pretty sweet...I liked her writing a lot...it didn't take a lot of effort, like you didn't have to fumble around like a retard or anything to know what she was saying. The unique thing, the thing that made it special, is how everything fell into place, how the product was something amazing, something that was special. I may have to purchase her books, when I get money.

For some reason, she reminded me of Cameron Diaz mixed with a little of this person named Susan Kramer from my hometown.

She seemed very cool, a very cool cat. She seemed like she is the kind of person who is always relaxed and never gets upset.

It is horrible that the girl had to die in the story, and that they tried to hide her body in leaves, but what else could of happened that would leave an imprint in my mind or be as moving? That's right, Fred, nothing. Nothing could have been better.

It's too bad that the young girl had to die when Julie is such a gentle person. I imagine that she would be sort of like John Denver, or an enviromentalist. Maybe Bob Ross, except that she wasn't high. Yes, that's it. Julie is the Bob Ross of writing...it looks simple to do, but when you try it, yours looks like a piece of burnt quiche.

Well, that is all for now. No random reports of my life today will be offered...except for these few ones (I can't resist!)

1) I decided not to go to class today. I slept in until 10. Then I went to work. Then I came home and did some pushups and situps instead of going to my 2 o'clock class. Then, I PRIORITIZED and went to the Q and A. Julie said something about PRIORITIZING, and that is exactly what I did. You have to focus on the things that really matter to you.

2) It really mattered to me that I went to the Q and A, because last time I was a dumbass and forgot about it. It really mattered to me that I went to the Q and A, because MD threatened to lower our grades like 40 percent if we didn't go. It mattered because I didn't want to feel like such a bum.

3) It mattered to me because I wanted to bask in the ingenuity of the Bob Ross of writing, to be in the presence of the one who looks like a cross between Cameron Diaz and a woman named Susan Kramer from my hometown.

Amazed

I am amazed b/c both Bret and Jessica made it to the end of the long, long entry. Thanks for reading it!

I disagree when you state that this has nothing to do with fiction writing. It has everything to do with fiction writing. This list will serve purposeful if ever I need an idea. It also allows you to see the cognitive processes of my mind, in order for you to better make sense of things that seem to jump around in complete unorganization. Perhaps if you read enough, things will begin to fall into place. It is a most unique phenomena.

1) Someone commented today that I am apathetic. Well, no. Not really. I do care. It's just that I am really relaxed. You got to take it easy. Starting out of the blocks fast will only cause you to fail later.

2) Boston was amazing! The east coast is good, clean fun. We stayed in this hotel that was like a refurbished old hotel. It was nice. The weather was cold and rainy during the marathon...the winning times were like 7 minutes slower than last year...mine was 16 minutes slower, but I blame it on my legs cramping up. I started walking in the last mile, but then people started encouraging, and I decided to nut up. The subway was fun. Crappy walls, a guy with too much authority, a guy asking me for change.

3) The plane rides were fantastic. I like when you lift off and turn real sharp and the blood rushes to your head. I like when you blast through clouds and wind and the plane shakes and you are jilted around the cabin like those number balls in the pick 5.

4) I decided to be extra-observative. The person that helped me with my seat request in the airport was Ann Marie Liburdi. She looked French. And sexy. Looked nice in her little navy blue uniform with gold trim, that short skirt revealing a great pair of well toned legs. The stewardess on the plane was Pamela. White shirt, black slacks, very accomodating but also very controlling. Had a sweet voice. The other stewardess who talked to the Korean people sitting behind me was Sally A. Weiss. She had some kind of weird bangs, sandy hair, sharp eyes, hose that didn't blend well with her skin. The couple sitting next to me was German. The woman wore a black and white overcoat, a black/grey business suit with thin pink pinstripes, matching pants, 3 inch black heels. Blonde hair, styled magnificently, parted in front, a little tied up in the back. She was sexy. The guy sitting behind me was in some kind of theater company. He was about 30 but acted like a child. Wore a grey fleece pullover and a white tee shirt underneath. His friend two rows in front of me was a girl about 23, brunette, frail, loud talker. She wore white sweatpants. And I think a thong. You can see through white pretty easily. She was sexy. I wanted to cup her ass in my hands. The guy next to me was a medical student, maybe from India. He breathed heavily and smelled of awful colonge. He sported a black corduroy jacket, khaki slacks, and a red turtleneck. There were some girls also, high school students I think, very attractive. A blonde in a green and white shirt, jeans, too thin? A brunette in a lacy white shirt with a turquoise blue shirt underneath. Hair parted and up in one of those hair bands. Large, intelligent eyes. Smiled often. Very innocent looking. Perfect.

5) I like viewing the earth from the sky. It is like google earth, only better. I like maps. Maps are fun. I saw all of Ohio from 3600 feet at 540 miles per hour. MD will surely like Ohio. Lots of green, many trees and enough water. I like seeing the clouds from the top. I imagine that it looks similar to Antarctica, with snow for miles and miles and miles.

6) Then we went on jazz ensemble tour to KC. It was a blast. Me and four others got to ride in the mini van with Dean (the pimp) while all the rest had to cram into the 15 passenger van. Then we got a suite at the hotel...a huge suite! Nice loveseat, low coffee table, two chairs and ottomans. Fluffy pillows. An assortment of alcohol in the lobby. Beer on tap. Wine in those bucket things.

7) And when I was sitting at poolside, a young woman was talking to one of her friends about her boobs being too big...then she came up to me and flashed open her towel. No, young woman. They are not too big. They are PERFECT!

8) We ate ribs at Jack's Stack by Union Station in downtown KC. The best ribs in town. It was great. Our table had boisterous conversation. I was giddy and laughed at stupid jokes. My friend drank too many Smirnoffs. She kept saying things like "definately" and "cool" to describe the most unmeaningful things. The 15 passenger van had to pull off on the side of the highway to let her vomit. I am glad I didn't have to ride in the "sick" van.

9) At one of the schools we performed at, I got attacked by a bee, and said "FUCK" and "DAMN" and "SHIT" in front of some young people. I really have to learn how to refrain from using such language around the youth.

10) There is magic in the air.

11) I haven't done homework since last Wednesday. That is a whole week. I am not really too worried though. I don't think I have had anything due. I'm not sure though...

12) I like this warm weather. I am a warm weather kind of guy.

13) Four weeks of school after this week. Four weeks!

14) I am amazingly poor right now. I might have to start stealing.

Well, that is all for now. I will keep you updated about things that happen in my life.

Some Things On My Mind

So, there is a lot on my mind right now. Some of this information I will disclose to you, readers, in hope that maybe you can give me words of encouragement or some kind of ancient wisdom.

1) I am a binge writer. I don't write for like two weeks, then I splash out a lot of stuff over a two days. I was supposed to write a story like three weeks ago, but I didn't do it until Wednesday morning. I sat there for two and a half hours and wrote some random words down and hoped that they would make sense. This is how it is with much of my life, it seems. I just do a bunch of stuff and hope that it all turns out well. The thing is, I really don't care too much if something bad happens. Is this a problem or a plus? What is "bad" anyway? It doesn't have to be bad...it depends on how you look at the situation. The best things are often misconstrued as bad.

2) I haven't read anything for a while now. I need to start reading a lot again. When I don't read, it seems that my mind wanders all over the place and I can't settle down. I was hyper tonight, like a bobcat in a cage with lots of park rangers looking at it. I am almost done with the book "The Hedonist Handbook" which I purchased about two months ago. Hedonism is, as described by the ancient Greeks, is "the doctrine that pleasure or happiness is the sole of chief good in life." But, mind you, people today have misinterpreted Hedonism for indescriminate sex and copious consumption of alcohol. But that shit will fuck you up (haha! I'm so funny! Right?). I think sex is like sacred or something, like it is special. I'm not an animal. I can control my urges. Also, I have never been drunk. That shit will rot you away. No, I'm not ashamed or feel left out. (I always say "fuck em!") You have to moderate things. Sure it will feel good to have that coke surging through your body like the most magnificent river, but after a while, it will cause tremendous suffering. Therefore, to be a true hedonist, even though it feels good you have to resist. You have to seek pleasure, but also avoid things that are self deprecating.

3) For some reason, I have been strict about diet for the past few years, and alcohol is very calorie dense. That shit will hurt you. It will dehydrate you. I have started running long ass distances for no reason (maybe to seek pleasure in pain...masochist?) blah blah blah you got to watch what you consume. I often count the calories of foods to make sure that I am not eating too much, but also to make sure that I replenish after a long run. On the 40 miler I did last month, I had to consume 2600 calories during the run. That is more than what the average person eats in a day. And, I made sure to eat an additional 2000 so that I would not be in deficit. Blah blah blah I make sure that my body is healthy and ready to go. Ultra running is good. 1st, I like to run. 2nd, I like to eat. In ultra running, you get to do BOTH! It's the best ever! And you don't have to stick with gels and powerbars and gatorade! You can have burritos and chips and coffee! You got to make sure you don't go into deficit.

4) Speaking of running, my brother and I are running the Boston Marathon on Monday. I was excited for it, until I read this email:

FORECAST:
The most up-to-date weather forecast calls for a predicted Spring storm on Monday, including heavy rains (potentially 3 to 5 inches), with the start temperatures in the mid to upper 30's. Wind will likely be East (in the face of the participants for most of the race) in the 20 to 25 mile per hour range, with gusts to as much as 50 miles per hour. This will produce a wind chill index of 25 to 30-degrees Fahrenheit.

Now, I am super super excited! I love when it is trecherous! Stuff like this will make you stronger, more versatile, and more appreciative.

5) My roommate broke up with his girlfriend like a month ago, and now this other girl is in his room. It is 12:04. Is she staying over? Will the be loud? Do I want to think about this? Fuck no! To number 6!

6) Am I wasting my life right now? What am I really doing in college? Am I learning anything? Why do I have to take a math class next semester? I haven't taken math in four years! My calculus teacher my senior year was HOT! She used to wear these skirts that were a little ways above the knee...I heard from someone that she went to the Comstock music festival and was flashing her tits for free beer. Wow! What a crazy woman! (I wish I could have been there!)

7) My brother got me Hennessy for my birthday. I got him Crown Royal for his. He is buying Courvoisier. We get the expensive stuff.

8) I got to figure some stuff out right now about what I want with some stuff that I do not want to disclose to you. I think I want to do one thing, but then something tells me that I should do another, but then I think that this might only be because I am fabricating some kind of excuse to hide what I really want. Fuck! Life is hard, sometimes! Any words of wisdom?

9) They say to follow your heart, but what if your heart has stopped talking to you? What if the mind is so powerful that it can trick your "heart" into believing that it wants something that you really don't? What if your mind is tricking you? How do you even know? Does anyone know? They say that experience equals knowledge, but what is knowledge, really? What happens in the mind, between the synapses and electrical impulses and all that shit that forms "knowledge"? Is there even such a thing? How do we form memories? Why do they say that dogs don't dream in color? Is there even a way to know?

10) So, I got this idea that will make eighty-fuckin-billion dollars. I'm going to create this thing you strap on your head that will read all the activity of the brain and display it on a screen with many windows and toolbars and stuff like that. You can broadcast your thoughts to the public. If you can't explain something clearly, who cares? You can just rig up the ol thing to your head and SHOW the person EXACTLY what you mean. Drawbacks: someone may use this against you. Sometimes you try to keep a secret, but by just simply keeping the secret, you focus on the secret, thus revealing what it is. It will fuck up the world! THIS IDEA WILL BRING INSURMOUNTABLY DETRIMENTAL!

11) I still need to figure out some stuff between myself and many others whom I will not disclose. If you really want to know, ask. I may not tell you though. But maybe I will. Sure, why the hell not...I'll tell you. Because does it really matter? What if you already know how to read my thoughts and know what I am thinking? What if you already know!

12) Don't ask about it. You already know.

Back in the Game

After having not written anything in this blog worth noting for the past week or so, I have decided to make a post that tells about some stuff.

First of all, I wrote a story this morning. I didn't know what to call it, so I called it "Quality Time". Everything we do is quality time, especially skateboarding, which I am trying to get back into. Last night before I started feeling not that well, I busted out the ol' skateboard and tried to do some ollies in my room (I'm not that good, really, but it is always a good time). Unfortunately, I could not go all out because I did not want to break anything. I have a lava lamp, two 36 inch blacklights, glass photo frames, plants...I did not want to injure anything.

My story is sort of not good maybe I do not really know to be honest. I wrote it after sleeping for eleven hours straight. I enjoyed writing it, though, and maybe if I clean it up a bit (a lot) it will be good to go.

Other things...I have not really read anything lately...I purchased some flash and sudden fiction books, and try to read at least one a day.

I found out that we get like 300 channels or something, so I have been sitting there watching sweet stuff a lot. We have this channel called Fuel which is kick ass...skateboarding, surfing, BMX...action sports. That's what I'm all about these days, it seems. I want to do some crazy stuff like street luge. First I need to move someplace that has hills.

Well, I guess that is all for now. I can't really think of anything else to say. Right now I only have $107...I'll get paid at the end of the month, but I have bills, man. I don't know if I will have enough. In order to save money, I have been eating a lot of cheap foods like oatmeal. You can get 30 servings for two bucks. It really is a good deal. It really is.

That is all for now for real. That is all.

Critical Condition

There was all this tupperware shit in a cupboard, so my brother got up on the counter to sort it out. When he jumped off, he landed, then let his momentum take him into a roll, and he ended up like ten feet away from the counter. He said "ninjas always roll to gain more distance."

I wanted to try, but did not want to get up on the counter because my shoes had pieces of mud on them. So, I went to the table and scooted out a chair and positioned it so that I could jump from it into the living room. Then, I jumped, but the chair collapsed beneath me. I only went about two feet.

The chair is in critical condition. All the legs were jutting out in different directions, and the support "beams" were pulled from the legs. One of the support things snapped in half.

The chair and table were my other roommates, whose name I will not disclose. To prevent him from finding out, I put the chair at a part of the table where no one ever sits. I plan to get some wood glue, and try to fix it.

I'm pretty sure that the chair was made for little dollhouse teaparties or something...certainly they are not for adult use.

Flash Fiction

I just wrote a story that is 499 words. I guess you call this "flash fiction".

Not counting spaces, it has 2,220 characters. Yes, this is significant. It is special.

Sure, I will paste it here. Maybe you can make comments on it.

Epiphany

When I was walking in the park on my way to the tanning salon, I noticed an attractive female sitting in the grass. I sat down on a bench and watched her. A small squirrel was scampering around. Evidently, she was observing it, because now and then she would jot something down on a memo pad.

The female was fascinating. Her hair was blonde, her skirt was denim, and her blouse was white. She was a very fine specimen. I decided to go talk to her, and inveigle her into dining with me at an Italian restaurant called La Scoiattola (which, incidentally, means “The Squirrel”). I crept up behind her and whispered:

“Hey, you! Hey!” She looked up at me and brushed the hair out of her eyes, smiling.

“Hello, big boy,” she said. “I saw you on that bench. Were you watching me?”

“No,” I said. “I was watching the squirrel.”

“So was I,” she said. “I’m writing an article about why we should save the squirrels. They are gentle creatures.”

“I agree,” I said. “They are precious little things.”

“Yes they are!” she said. “I can’t believe you agree! Would you mind if I asked you some questions, for the article?”

“Go ahead.”

“Alright,” she said, “how often do you feed the squirrels?”

“Everyday. I feed them everyday.”

“What do you feed them?”

“Nuts, bread, licorice. You know, the usual.”

“Licorice? You feed them licorice?”

“Yes. They love it.”

“Really! I didn’t know that!”

“It's an obscure fact.”

“Here,” she said, reaching into her bag. “I actually have some licorice. Would you mind feeding some to the squirrel while I take a picture?”

I didn’t know if the licorice would kill the squirrel, but I decided to do it anyway. I got down on my knees and held out the licorice while the female took out her camera.

“Here, squirrel!” I said. “Come get the food!”

The rodent scurried through the grass and stopped about five inches away from me. It started wrinkling its nose. Then, it sprang at me and sunk its teeth into my hand.

“Fuck!” I said. “What the fuck was that!” It started to run, but before it could get away I got hold of its tail. It tried to bite me again, so I smacked it right in the kisser. It shrieked in anguish.

“Put it down,” the female said. “You’ll hurt the poor thing!”

I smacked the squirrel again, just for good measure. Then the female kicked me in the ribs. I crumpled upon the ground. The squirrel escaped.

“You’re a horrible person!” the female said. “It’s people like you who make this world a fucked up place!” She kicked me again and then went to console the squirrel.

“Poor little guy!” she cooed, picking it up. I whimpered in pain and wondered if you could go any lower than this. And, watching the female cradle the squirrel in her arms like a lover, I knew the answer was no.

Sidwa

Sidwa was very entertaining...she had some awesome stories and just chilled up there and talked. I enjoyed it immensely.

Some people remarked that they did not like how her "presentation" was disorganized. Well...I like it. Organization is for the birds. If I had to give some kind of "presentation," I would just get up there with a little notecard with some things worth addressing and let whatever happen. Heck, right now I could give a "presentation." I can do it on the spot...I'm down with that impromptu shit. You know me, dog!

Haircut

Today was pretty intense with homework, so I decided to chop off some of my hair.

To do so, I got the scissors from my desk and looked in a mirror. It is jagged in the back. I formed it into a sort of faux hawk:

Right here my hair is wet, so it lays down. It's all differnent lengths on top and in back, I think, so I might have to conceal it under a hat.

I don't know why I do things like this. I really don't. I like long hair better.

I miss my hair!

Oh yeah...thos are some of the paintings I have painted right there to the sides of my head. The yellow one is called "Gravitation." The other is "Forth the Core of the Earth" (it actually has no name...it just looks like something that bursted fromt he earth's core).

Do you know how this is relevant to fiction writing? Well...I was working on some writing, but could not focus, so I said "to hell with it" and went downstairs, made tuna salad, played Halo 2 and killed some aliens, and then (not wanting to go back to writing) decided to spend thirty minutes cutting my own hair. This, my friends, is how it ties into fiction writing. It is certainly relevant, no?

Barthelme

It is time for me to get back on the ball and write some stuff that is actually pertinent to class (but, did I even fall off the ball in the first place, or did I just take it on a detour through the jungle?)

Barthelme was pretty sweet. I liked his stories better than Novakovich. Novakovich was good, but it was like "oh, I am reading a story...wow." Barthelme is like "snap crackle pop, bitches!" You know, shit like that.

There's my book laying on the desk. If you look closely you will see that some of the pages are dog-eared (or cat-eared for you more intelligent folk). These dog/cat-eared pages mark the stories that I thought were exemplary and good. They were good.

These stories include: Game, Alice, The Dolt, The Glass Mountain, The Sandman, A Manual for Sons, and The School. I liked these stories.

I wasn't shocked to read Barthelme. I wasn't taken aback. I did not say "he must be on drugs" or "now I want to do crack". I didn't think that at all.

I am never shocked. You cannot shock me. Last year, in "Intro to Fiction", we read George Saunders. Someone said that it would be weird. I thought it was not. It was creative. It was extraordinary. It was major leauge, not some youth soccer team.

I am not shocked by anything. Try to shock me. If you succeed, you will be rewarded with a small sum of money.

Back to our friend Barthelme, man of four wives...

Barthelme is fun. It is good clean fun. He is a good guy. I don't see his writing as random at all. It is very organized, concise. It is full of life.

His techniques, you ask. Look in "Game". See the repetition. I like repetition. Repetition is good.

Look at "The Glass Mountain". Observe that it is a list, 1) to 100). A list is always good. Dean's List is good. A list of groceries is good. It gives you something to look forward to.

In the last sentence I wrote, I ended with a preposition. You are not supposed to do that. Well, you are not supposed to speed either, but I do it anyway.

If the police try to get me, I will run.

It's true!

Yes, it's true! I have made another blog so that you can look at some random pictures. You can see how I waste my time. I waste time like no other.

http://cdupreezpic.blogspot.com

When I get arrested.

So, I'm probably going to get arrested for posting copyrighted pictures on my blog. I did not ask permission to use any of the pictures. When the cops come and drag me away from my computer and put me in cuffs and throw me down the stairs and beat me and sic their dogs on me, just remember that there is a lesson in all of this. I am an example that the police will always bring you down. Always.

Wait! Wait! If she is going to try to arrest me, I will let her. I hope she comes soon!

Unproductive?

About five minutes ago (2:41 am) I decided to finally start homework. I only did homework for three minutes. Now I am wikipedia looking at information about John Coltrane. He was the man.

But was I really unproductive? No, I didn't get homework, but a lot of ideas formed in my head as I sat there doing nothing. Ideas are most important!

Reggae Music

I think I really like reggae music. I think I really do.

A moment ago, I got out the rasta hat and a put on my sunglasses and started to dance around the room. In my excitement, I accidently bumped into a shelf. The cactus fell to the floor, and now looks pathetic. Poor little guy!

"Pass" through the door!

Considering that on the microscopic level matter is mostly empty space, because 99.9% of the stuff is packed into the nucleus, then shouldn't I be able to somehow spring up from the desk and propel my body towards the door, hoping to simply "pass" through it? I mean, what are the chances that I will not make it, that the nuclei of the atoms in my body and door will obstruct my trajectory?

Big Life Decision!

As of this morning, March 20, 2007, I have decided to pack my bags and move to Bora Bora, an island of French Polynesia. If you want to come stay in my beach house, let me know, and I'll make another hammock in the next few days for you.

Princess.

My cat expects me to dote on her night and day. She is thus appropriately called "Princess." When I see her sitting by her empty dish, I say out loud: "Oh. Do I have to get "Princess" some food?" I don't know how she can control me, and make me wait upon her, but she is 14 so I will let it slide.

Anyway, it is Wednesday. Spring break is half over. I dread going back to school. I might just decide to not go back. There are plenty of jobs out there. I could even do illegal stuff, and make a lot of money. I could be an arms dealer. Not only is this a lucrative market, but it would be sort of exciting. I like excitement. I live for excitement. Yesterday I street luged down a large hill. Today I explored a crevice. Tomorrow I am going to BASE jump. If the police try to get me, I will run.

Sap for Romance

I am a sap for romance. Today I watched a movie on IFC called Lulu on the Bridge. It was a really good movie. Unlike all those other love stories out there, this one really captured what it is really like...the excitement, the initial awkwardness, the true nature of love. This is one of my favorite movies.

I watched this other movie called Dirty Pretty Things about a Nigerian man and a Muslim young woman trying to survive in London. They are illegal immigrants, and their employers know it, but do not say anything...cheap labor. Illegal immigrants often "donate" their kidneys in return for passports and new identies, but usually the surgeries are performed crudely, and the survival rate is low. The Muslim girl consents to having sex with the guy who produces passports for illegal immigrants. She loses her virginity. In the end, the Nigerian, who is a doctor, tricks the guy and ends up removing the guy's kidney, collects money from a man who "buys" the organs, and thus buys airline tickets for the Muslim woman and himself. The Muslim goes to New York; the Nigerian to see his seven year old daughter (he had to flee Nigeria years before because the government was trying to kill him). When the Muslim woman is getting onto the plane, she turns around and mouths "I love you" to the Nigerian. He mouths it back. I almost cried.

IFC movies are the greatest because they make things how they really are in life. They don't add all kinds of background music to enhance the mood...my emotions are stirred in deeper ways.

Other movies I have enjoyed recently are:

The Puffy Chair
Some people buy a chair on ebay and have to pick it up from Atlanta. I only saw a bit of this one, but it was crazy hilarious!

Tears of the Sun
This is a very touching movie. I think this says a lot about the SEALS and the US military. Just remember that we are fighting for so many reasons, and it is never right to dishonor our soldiers. This world is a crazy place, and I truely believe that it can be better...it will be better.

Man on Fire
Creasy values life, and gives his own for Pita. This is one of the most honorable things a human could do for another. I think I was touched by this movie because I, too, would give my life for something I believe in.

Spring Break

Spring break has started, and you ask "what, what are you going to do for spring break, Charles? Are you going to go to an exotic place and sit on the beach?" Then I say something like "no, no I am not planning on going to an exotic place because I lack the funds to do such fine things. Instead, I shall go back to my hometown and golf for five days straight on the 9-hole course."

"Nine hole?" you say. "Are you joking? That is not even real golf!"

"No, no it isn't," I respond, my emotions not excited. "But I am not a real golfer. I am a binge golfer. Others binge drink, and fuck themselves up, but I choose to stay clean, to improve on my golf game."

"What?" you say. "Are you some kind of pansy?"

And that's when my bud Tiger Woods comes out of nowhere and knocks you to the floor with his three wood. Tiger lets out a roar, something like: "yo man! You should listen to this Charles kid. That booze is a bad scene...it'll surely fuck you up." And then Michael Jordan will crawl out from the shrubs and say something like: "Damn straight! That booze will FUCK YOU UP!"

Michael Jordan is like a saint. You should follow in his footsteps this spring break, and stay clean. That is always best.

Today

Today was sort of busy. I can't really remember what happened, but it was busy.

Josip was a pretty sweet guy. He was pretty sweet.

Unfortunatley, I am a dumbass, and thought that the reading was at 19:30. So, I get there, a little late, like at 19:35, and then realize that it was at 19:00. Instead of being the fool to walk in late, I decided to turn around and walk back outside.

I just got done eating a lot of candy. Walgreens has these humungous boxes of candy for $1, so I bought 5: Raisenettes, Junior Mints, Red Vines, Boston Baked Beans, and these things called Jujubes. Then in the checkout line I decided I needed some peeps, so I got a box of those too. I ate almost the whole box of Raisenettes. I feel sort of sick. The Jujubes were like three years old, and very hard, so I only ate about five of those things. Don't get Jujubes. They will surely bring you to your downfall.

Also, this insomnia thing is over. Instead, I am just really tired all the time. I sleep like 9 or ten hours a night, and still I am tired in the day. Maybe I am dying. That would be most unfortunate. I don't think I am dying. No, I'm not.

Well, on this note, I am going to go to bed. The Raisenettes need time to settle. My brain needs time to clear. My body needs 11 hours of rest.

C Walk

I have decided to learn the C Walk. Within a couple weeks, I will be an all star. Check out this clip...it is pretty tight:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_kDD9p8_V8&mode

I am NOT Irish.

This is what my room looks like. It is disorganized. It is difficult to locate what you are looking for.

What my room represents is my mind. My mind is disorganized, and it is quite possible that I do not know what is going on more than 75% of the time.

You see that fishbowl, on top of the wardrobe? I like that fishbowl. A fish swims in it. Its name is Gypsum. You see that picture above the fishbowl? It is a picture of two white kittens in a wicker basket with a red linen. You see that hat on the left? It is a Norte Dame hat. I'm Irish, so naturally I would have a Norte Dame hat. See that torchier light? It sets a romantic mood. I like a romantic mood. See those curtains? Those curtains were made by my mom. I live in sort of a basement thing. The ground level starts at the bottom of the window. I guess you could say I live in a pit.

But it is an awesome pit. I love to live in this pit. I have a cat who also resides in the pit. Her name is Nacho. She is orange.

See that stuff hanging from the ceiling? It's like Christmas all the time in my room. Joy to the world!

Cereal

Cereal is quite possible the best food ever. It is great as a breakfast food...great for a snack...and can even be a meal on its own (if you eat a couple three or four bowls). Yes, cereal is certainly the best food ever.

Since you are apparently interested in what I am saying, I will tell you what my favorite kinds of cereal are:

Boo Berry
Count Chocula
Frankenberry
Raisin Bran
Frosted Shredded Wheats


Now doesn't this make you want to go get a big bowl of cereal? I hope it does. If you are poor and living on the streets, don't worry. You can come enjoy a bowl of cereal with me. When it gets warmer, we can even sit out on the porch and converse under the beautiful sun.

Stories.

I tried to write some today. It turned out that today was just a day to write a couple of paragraphs for two different stories. One is about a guy and a girl. The guy is from a foreign country. The other story is about a guy and a girl and a bird and a boy.

Pussies

People around here are pussies when it comes to snow. I guess there is some kind of "winter storm" or something right now. They closed school. Wesleyan is a bunch of pansies. It is not even that bad outside. The roads are pretty much all clear, and it isn't even cold. It's like 30 degrees, with a windchill of 15. We aren't in Antarctica, people. It really isn't that bad. Nut up!

Capped Column Snowflake, Magnified by Electron Microscope

This is absolutely astounding! Amazing!

No, a capped column snowflake has nothing to do with fiction writing, and neither does the agave cactus:



















I like how the cactus is planted in a hole in the floor. If I made a hole in the floor, someone would get mad and make me pay for the damages.

Also note that I changed my colors from a sissy pink to some kind of burnt orange color. I am very fond of a burnt orange color. If you are one of those rare people who do not like the burnt orange color, do not be alarmed; I will probably change the burnt orange color to something else in a couple of weeks. Maybe a nice blue. Blue is always good.

Masterpieces.

Masterpieces were created today.

No writing. My writing is not masterpieces (this is not even correct grammar; screw grammar!)

Other endeavors, however, are masterpieces.

Masterpiece 1= Exquisite meal.

Exquisite salad (spinach, iceberg and romaine lettuce; cottage cheese; tumeric, coriander, cardamon); exquisite soup (potatoes; jalepenos; corn; milk; cilantro; pepper; chili powder; flavored with Cholula); exquisite bread (toasted French bread; unsalted butter); exquisite Ole (tequila, Kahlua, confectioner's sugar; cream); exquisite ice cream (Breyer's Bubble Yum Bubble Gum Ice Cream; Breyer's A&W Root Beer Float Ice Cream).

[Explanation: No, not gourmet dinner, but a collection a wonderful things. Soup a bit spicy; perhaps too much jalepeno. A light dinner, perfect for the lighter appetite. Reminiscent of Mexico.]

Masterpiece 2= Painting 1
11x14 canvas. Dark chocolate, gold, white acrylic paints. A symphony of sorts.

Masterpiece 3= Painting 2.
11x14 canvas. Lavender, yellow, white acrylic paints. Looks mathematical.

Masterpiece 4= Painting 3.
11x14 canvas. Blue, red, coral, lavender acrylic paints. Perhaps a sandstorm.

Masterpiece 5= Painting 4.
8x10 canvas. Begun early autumn 2006. Blue, purple, silver acrylic paints. Fish? Scales? Alien? Vase?

Today was productive. Fun. Tomorrow may be the same.

Entry 6: Crap I read

I read some crap today. It was a story called "Cat People" by Ann Beattie. Being a cat person, I thought this story would be excellent. However, it was not. It did not seem real at all.

First of all, there was a cat who got on these old people's nerves, so they chased it out of the house and started throwing stuff at it. Stuff like fruit. The cat went into the neighbor's yard, where a hot model was floating in the pool on an inflatable raft. The cat accidently jumped into the pool, and the model's bikini top was ripped, exposing her breasts. Then, the other neighbor's alarm went off, so the police had to come turn it off. Then, somehow a parrot that can count to 15 escapes from its cage. Then the police think that they are shooting a porn movie, because the model is topless now.

Then, the old lady comes and tells the narrator to take a kitten. The old husband drowned his four...the old lady was trying to give her four away.

The whole story seemed unreal. I am now disappointed.

Entry 5: Stuff I have read, stuff I have written, insomina and ADD (I need vitamins!)

It is Friday morning. I sit here looking at the computer. I am tired. I am fatigued. My back is cramping up. I need to sleep.

But first let me update you on what is going on in my life right now. Well...nothing much. Nothing is really happening in my life. It is at a standstill.

Wow. That was easy.

Next topic: some stuff I have recently read. I tried to read Thomas Paine's "Common Sense," but only got about five minutes into it before I realized that it was not as interesting as fiction.

I saw a random book laying around my room. It had some stories in it. I read "Natasha" by David Bezmozgis. It was about a stoner boy and his cousin Natasha, who was from Russia. They had sex. She was only 14. She knew some pretty crazy sex tricks. It was a great story. Great.

I read "Until Gwen" by Dennis Lehane. It was about a dude who gets picked up from prison by his father, who is like a criminal and scam artist guy. The father had killed the dude's girlfriend, Gwen. The father takes the dude out to the place where the body was buried and tries to kill the dude. The dude had put superglue in his father's gun, though, so it didn't fire. The dude whipped out a knife and made his father dig into the grave, using his hands. The body was there. Then the dude kills his father with a shovel and buries the bodies and goes off. It was crazy. It was crazy good.

Hmm...reading is a great activity...a great past time. When I am old, I am going to sit in a chair and read. I will have a glass of milk and a bowl of grapes. Grapes are good. They contain antioxidants.

I enjoyed reading Raymond Carver. So simple. So moving and touching. So genius. I liked the one about the blind guy who smokes pot for the first time with the narrator.

I enjoyed Josip Novakovich. My favorite story was "Night Guests." I also liked "Spleen" and "The Stamp." Neighbors was good, but it got sort of boring after a while. It's strange that he almost dies in the end.

Well, let me tell you about the story I wrote for class this week. It is called "They All Looked the Same." I didn't know what to call it, so I picked out a line from the last part. It could be philosophical or something. The collective "we" does not include good people like "Juan." The world sucks now. You can't go anywhere. The cops will even beat you down with clubs and sic their dogs upon you. I don't know why I always right from the 1st person. I am not like the narrator. I am not sexually indescriminate. If a building were burning, I'd be the first one in. I got your back.

I only started writing it Monday night, sometime late in the night because one of my friends was visiting from Colorado and my day was spent doing other stuff. Then I completed it little by little on Tuesday and Wednesday night. I think I have insomnia, as you probably have heard many a time. I also think that I have ADD. There is no "H" in the ADD for me because I am not hyperactive. I am just attention deficit.

Just for you, I will report some things here, things that I found I wikipedia.com. Check out the site here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adhd

I exemplify many of the symptoms of ADD. Here they are, with the numberings from the site, and with small explanations:


2. Trouble keeping attention focused during play or tasks (It takes me like four hours to complete a simple assignment because there are so many other things that look fun to do)

4. Failure to follow instructions or finish tasks (It takes me like three months to get something done, like schedule something with someone. It takes me like three weeks to do simple tasks)

6. Frequently losing items required to facilitate tasks or activities, such as school supplies (I always lose my fucking pens. Where the fuck do they go? Also, when I am rushing to go somewhere, I always pick up my keys but then lose them while I look for something else)

7. Excessive distractibility (see number 2)

8. Forgetfulness (see number 6)

9. Procrastination, inability to begin an activity (I only decided to start writing my first story after class last Friday. I only tried starting my rhetoric paper tonight, when it is due tomorrow at noon)

13. Easily frustrated (Rhetoric is not my forte. After many attempts, I decided to scrap the paper. I might withdraw from the course and take linguistics in the fall instead. Rhetoric is bad news, let me tell you!)

14. Easily distracted (see number 2)

Conclusion:

As is evident, I have many of the symptoms of ADD. It sort of sucks. I have insomnia and ADD. Plus, I am allergic to that stuff they use to dilate your pupils. it is called tropticamide or something like that. At the eye doctor, they put that stuff in my eyes and then when I stood up five minutes later, I heard a buzz in my ears that got really, really loud, and then my vision started going. I was sweating muchas, so then I had to sit in a chair and prop my legs up. They gave me a coke. Some little kid came in to get his first pair of glasses and saw me sitting in the chair. He was scared then, and begged his mom to take him home. It was strange. Strange, indeed.

Well, I guess I am going to try to go to bed. I read something about how you need to sleep between the hours of 10 and 2. For some kind of physiological reason. I need to stay strong.

That reminds me, I need to go to the store and get some vitamins tomorrow.