Critical Condition

There was all this tupperware shit in a cupboard, so my brother got up on the counter to sort it out. When he jumped off, he landed, then let his momentum take him into a roll, and he ended up like ten feet away from the counter. He said "ninjas always roll to gain more distance."

I wanted to try, but did not want to get up on the counter because my shoes had pieces of mud on them. So, I went to the table and scooted out a chair and positioned it so that I could jump from it into the living room. Then, I jumped, but the chair collapsed beneath me. I only went about two feet.

The chair is in critical condition. All the legs were jutting out in different directions, and the support "beams" were pulled from the legs. One of the support things snapped in half.

The chair and table were my other roommates, whose name I will not disclose. To prevent him from finding out, I put the chair at a part of the table where no one ever sits. I plan to get some wood glue, and try to fix it.

I'm pretty sure that the chair was made for little dollhouse teaparties or something...certainly they are not for adult use.